


Living Harder

by fupette



Category: NCIS
Genre: 18x05, Angst, Bonding, F/M, Healing, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Recovery, S18E05, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:01:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fupette/pseuds/fupette
Summary: Ellie deals with the aftermath of her kidnapping ordeal at the hands of Merriweather's goons. Team Gibbs always pulls together for an injured member. (Based on Season 18 Episode 05 - Head of the Snake)
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is my first language, all spellings and grammar issues are my own. My Irish spellings might annoy readers, but that is how my brain is wired & my spell check is configured! 
> 
> The story is based around the events of Season 18 Episode 05, timeline-wise the story starts with Ellie casting her mind over the events of the kidnapping and airport shootout. The points I took away from the episode was basically the big-bad Merriweather blew up a plane with 3 random guys, as part of a plot to kill Fornell. Tim McGee gets injured trying to rescue Ellie who luckily was not on the plane.

Ellie let out a long sigh, Nick had headed home 30 minutes ago, content in their shared plan that they’d visit Tim tomorrow at the hospital. After all the drama of the day, it felt incongruously quiet now that the bullpen was empty, Merriweather now thankfully behind bars. 

The pall of their colleague’s injury lay heavy in the air, her NCIS colleagues checked in for the latest update on McGee before heading home, Ellie could hardly keep track of the litany of agents and support staff that made kind inquiries to both Tim and her own health. On Team Gibbs, the expectation that the usual sprint to get their paperwork complete would be replaced with a tacit understanding that the next few days would be an emotional marathon, where they’d all need to step up to the plate to support the McGees. Rule 15 mandated that they’d work as a team to get through their trauma. The office’s solitude left her to mull over the events of her day.... 

In the back of Gibb’s car, Nick had been an oasis of comfort, while her boss and Fornell continued to bicker in the front seat. Gibbs was myopically focused on results and revenge; speeding back to the office, keen to regain some control over the case. In stark contrast, Nick carefully focused his attention on her ordeal, gently investigating her time with the kidnappers, never overstepping the mark carefully keeping her grounded in the present even while talking about the distasteful past events. She understood for all his concern, he was probably fishing for details about unseen injuries, keeping her talking until her head injuries were checked on. She was grateful that her debriefing of Nick was a distraction, but also it made her feel like she was still a vital cog in the investigation. She had felt so alone when she was captured. Yes, she had overcome her captors and requisitioned the remaining stash of poisoned pills and in the back of her mind she hoped these leads could be followed up on, but at the moment she couldn’t help but second guess her own actions staying with the evidence, if she had managed to be a little faster or less injured she might have been able to pre-empt the shootout, she had no inkling of Gibbs brazen plan.

Although she rescued herself from the kidnapping nightmare she was still sore from the original abduction. She ached all over especially after tackling her burly captors. Now, Ellie would have felt churlish complaining, compared to Tim she had gotten off scot-free. She knew things were serious when the EMTs rushed her fallen comrade away in the back of an ambulance. She had struggled to make it to the bomb-site, her sore-legs forced an ungainly limp robbing her of her usual deft speed. She had made it in time to watch Tim being stretchered away on a gurney. She knew she couldn’t add to her team’s worry with her own petty complaints. She wouldn’t allow urgent treatment for Tim to be delayed if she keeled over in her attempt to relay the belated news that Merriweather had not so much escaped but nonchalantly left to continue his plans after laying his trap for Fornell. Once see reached Nick and Gibbs the emotion of the days events had suddenly overtaken her normally calm demeanour.

Nick continued to pepper her with questions in the back of Gibb’s speeding car, where every bump in the road back caused jolts of pain in her head, chest and back. She could recall fondly, Nick wincing in sympathy, consoling her that he’d get her checked over once they reached the office. She appreciated his emphasis that she was safe now, but she’d feel better once the drug kingpin was caught. In the car, she had felt the ghost of Nick’s warm embrace at the hangar, she trusted Nick that his words were sincere and his close presence concretised his statement, that they’d get the leader of the drug ring and she would be soon be safe. 

Gibbs was acting like a man possessed of a singular mission and she could tell Nick was itching to resolve this case once and for all. He had gestured that she could lay her head on his shoulders, a tacit agreement that he’d act as a bulwark to Gibbs frantic driving pace, allowing her aching body to rest on his solid presence. She tried to concentrate on Nick’s steady breathing rather than her own nagging guilt, her sore back stopped her from completely melting into Nick’s arms and giving way to her own tiredness. In her steely determination to remain professional she focused on the conversation in the car’s front seat, her thoughts drifting to Gibbs. 

The erratic driving and the bear-hug her boss given her earlier, (although he tried to hide it) showed clearly he was rattled by his actions and their outcomes. She couldn’t bring herself to add to his stress or guilt , she’d talk to Jimmy or Ducky, if she didn’t feel better tomorrow. At the moment dealing with the Merriweather situation was the necessary priority before they could all decamp to the hospital. It took her a few slow seconds to realise Fornell had chimed in with a question, as she caught Gibb’s penetrating gaze on her via the rearview mirror, she tried to pick back up the conversation thread. She was relived when Nick relayed his own opinions, facilitating the ongoing conversation batting his own Merriweather theories into the mix while Gibbs continued his bee-line to the office. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

\--++--Back to present time, Merriweather has been caught, Gibbs is heading to the hospital, Nick has left the office --++--

Delilah had been so strong, so stoic in her belief that everything was going to be ok. Ellie wished she could have been similarly optimistic on their phonecall but she was glad to pass on the news that Merriweather had been caught. She also let her friend know that Gibbs was heading to the hospital before inquiring if she could offer any immediate assistance. Upon hearing the analyst had everything under control, she could feel a wave of relief crash over her guilty mind. Rationally she knew she would be more help in the morning, but also immediately and overwhelming her body was telling her it couldn’t be pushed any further, she finally could head home to rest and tend to her remaining wounds.

She took a small modicum of solace that Tim had only been injured by friendly fire, she could still feel the gnaw of guilt about nearly getting him blown up, the burnt out husk of the plane stood as a testament to how close a call they’d all had today, she couldn’t bring herself to share that tidbit with Delilah, but she knew that Tim’s wife was a sharp and she would piece together the events of shootout eventually. She left Delilah to continue her hospital vigil, searching for her go-bag to stow her phone. Unbidden Ellie left out a low groan, she was having too many thoughts, a confusing jumble of current emotion and traumatic memories from her kidnapping, with gritted teeth she knew she’d need to sucked it up, she’d be fine after a good night’s rest at least she could let down her facade now. 

She looked at her own shaky hands, maybe that was the easiest injury to tackle, she’d just get Ducky’s first aid kit and then head home, she knew that she’d need to give bruised ribs time to heal (as Jimmy directed) but she wondered what she’d do about her sore back. She hadn’t noticed that Jack was loitering by the staircase until she gave a polite throat clearing noise, pulling the blonde out of her reverie. “Ellie, what are you doing?”, the question was gentle entreaty. The injured agent parsed the inquiry, trying to school her features back into the impassive mask that fooled Jimmy. With a reassuring smile the elder gent offered out her hand, “Ellie, it’s ok, let’s get you home”. The younger agent looked for a loophole, she didn’t deserve this kindness, she had been sloppy, people had gotten hurt, she needed to organise more training with Odette, she needed to be better, that was the only way to keep Nick and the others safe. The suspicious part of her mind wondered if Jack was going to take the opportunity to lay on her ‘head shrinker’ routine, but when the senior agent grabbed her go-bag from her desk and started to ease her towards the elevator she knew that Jack wouldn’t brook any of her arguments.

By the time the two female agents were walking through the underground parking lot, Ellie no longer had the energy to worry about Jack attempting to probe her on today’s ordeal, her energy reserves were nearly spent, she hoped the other agent didn’t notice how shaky on her feet she had become. Robotically she kept her mind on keeping one foot in front of the other until she stopped mid-stride spying Nick next to her car, his helmet still in his hand. For one brief scary moment Ellie wondered if she was hallucinating, she knew she had downplayed her injuries to Jimmy, but she didn’t like the thought that she was going mad. Once Nick caught the car keys; pitched to him by Jack; she was satisfied her tired mind was not playing tricks with her. Nick had merely waited to see that she was still okay. Jack instructed Nick to drive Ellie’s truck to her house, neither agents commented on the confusion plain on Ellie’s face, her mind teasing over when this plan was formulated amongst her two friends, not to mention why they’d only deigned to loop her into their schemes now.

Nick gallantly accompanied them both to Jack’s car, unfortunately on the far-side of the parking structure. Ellie hoped her struggle to keep up wasn’t too apparent, she gathered that her delay in leaving the office had caused Nick to rope in Jack’s help and now she was being brought to Jack’s house instead of the comfort of her own home. She wasn't sure if she was more touched then annoyed at her teammates concerns. The car ride was uneventful, providing Ellie a further opportunity to tease over the thoughts sloshing aroung in the back of her mind. In short-order she found herself being helped out of the car and into Jack’s picture-perfect suburban home, Nick arriving in her own truck shortly after, she felt a surge of relief for Jack's planning and forethought.

Ellie staggered into the upstairs guest bedroom, her body aching all over. She lowered herself carefully onto the bed, trying to suck in a deep breath to recharge her dwindling batteries. She can hear Jack direct Nick to where he can find the first aid kit, followed by footsteps as she hears Jack’s easy progress up the stairs, in such stark contrast to her own earlier slow struggle. Ellie surveyed the cuts and bruising on hands, she was relieved that Jimmy had tended to her facial wounds, she wasn’t confident that she would have been able to tackle those solo, but she was pretty sure Jack and Nick would let her deal with the rest of her scrapes and bruises after she had a good night’s sleep. 

Jack’s soft knock presaged her entry into the guest bedroom, a set of fluffy towels and pyjamas in her arms. She deposited them carefully next to the blonde agent, freeing her hand to help Ellie get back into a fully seated position, the younger agent’s struggle to reach down low enough to untie her shoe laces, confirmed Jack’s suspicion that Ellie had played down her injuries earlier. She bent low to unlace the shoes, smiling at the innate politeness that Ellie wouldn’t indulge in much needed rest out of deference to the hospitality offered to her and not wanting to dirty her host’s sheets.

Dimly Ellie, tried to vocalise her plan to take a nap and that she would look after her injuries in the morning, but an unconvinced Jack was insistent that she’d help Ellie into fresh clothes now. Ellie was too tired to argue further, she willed herself to hold on just a little while longer before she’d enjoy the oblivion of sleep. She struggled to help Jack as she peeled off her shirt, the smell of her own sweat and the absorbed brimstone from the earlier explosion proving to be a noxious mix. The hitch in Jack’s breath when she surveyed the extent of the injuries on her sore back, left no ambiguity for interpretation, part of the foul earlier smell was blood. Ellie final understood that maybe her back looked as bad as it felt. 

She had struggled mightily when she was dragged from the surveillance van earlier, the stony asphalt raking her back as she tried to fight off her kidnappers, she didn’t remember much more of that abuse, as she had been pistol-whipped by a waiting Merriweather after she had managed to break loose of one of the drug pusher’s minions only to take a flurry of kicks to her fallen unconscious body. Jack looked in detached wonderment at the rainbow patina of bruises that were arrayed over the body in front of her, she could almost make out the boot marks from some of the more brutal kicks to the ribs. She fought the bile rising in the back of her throat when she looks at the bloody scrapes all over her patient’s once flawless back, now a mottled mess of angry road burn; the abrasions culminating in patches of embedded dirt and gravel interspersing the cumulative swaths of small red cuts. From behind her she hears Nick’s low curse, taking in the bloody imprints on the discarded shirt on the floor, a match to the sick Rorsachach Test of cuts and bruises on his partner’s back. Suddenly the large first aid kit in his hand seemed like the most precious object in the world, he meets Jack eyes and understands wordlessly that he will need to keep Ellie safe and calm while Jack will clean the wounds on her back.

Nick sat himself next to Ellie after placing the first aid kit within easy access of the other agent. In perfect tandem he lowers Ellie’s head to his waiting lap, using it as a makeshift pillow, as Jack lifted Ellies knees onto the bed, placing the young agent in a semi prone position, exposing her injured back for treatment.  
Fighting her groggy confusion, Ellie is aware of Nick’s cooed comforting words as he drifts seamlessly between English and Spanish. She is still cogent enough to recognise he is trying to distract her from the impending pain, as she feels Jack’s minstrations with antiseptic and gauze begin as her sore back is cleaned and debrided. She fights to maintain her composure as particularly painful cuts are tended to trying to swallow the occasional whimper. She feels a warm hand stroking her hair and Ellie plaintively wishes she could just drift away to the comfort of sleep, but the periodic pain from Jack’s treatment (despite all her gentle care) sends continued flares of pain ratcheting around her abused body. She is glad that Nick remains a comforting presence in her eye-line, as she fights not to shed any tears from her watering eyes...

At some point, in her utter tiredness, her body could no longer resist the urgent need for rest. Neither Jack’s continuing first aid or Nick’s honeyed baritone are enough to keep her from drifting in and out of the torpor sleep. It feels pleasantly dreamlike for Nick’s thumb to wick an errant tear from its progress down her cheek. Ellie has no concept of time, she was caught in the liminal space between the twilight of sleeping and waking. She was glad the sting of antiseptic has now been tempered by fingers massaging a cooling ointment onto her injuries, followed by the warmth of a cottony layer of gauze protecting her tender back. Ellie could feel the soft rise and fall of Nick’s breath, so steady and smooth, his hand stroking her hair in a pleasurable metronome-motion, Ellie figures she could easily fall asleep again, it took her a few moments to wonder if the soft background voices were posing a question to her. She is so comfortable and content she wills her colleagues to just leave her rest were she lays, but their voices reach out to beckon her again.  
Ellie tried fruitlessly to help, as Jack wraps her into the warm comfort of the new pyjamas but her lethargy has left her limbs unresponsive to her simplest requests. There has been far too much fussing and preening for her liking but there is no denying for the first time all day she felt safe, warm and well looked after under the watchful eye of her colleagues. As Nick tucks her under the blankets, she likes that her partner helps Jack tidy away the first aid supplies. She has a sense that they are talking about her again but she can’t summon the energy to worry herself any further. She can feel a soft presence next to her as one of her teammates lays next to her over the covers in a silent vigil. As she can sense the lights in the room have been turned off, her mind focuses on the comforting feel of her duvet cocoon tightening around her as she can feel Nick whispered voice bidding her to sleep soundly. 

Jack leaves the pair in relative privacy. She understands the protective streak in Nick requires him to keep in close contact with Ellie, after the close call today he was still on edge as he staked his claim to the other side of her guest bed without comment. She is happy to have his help, she needed to check in with Gibbs now, knowing the senior agent would want an update and she’d be able to share the latest updates on McGee when Ellie wakes again later. She cast her own mind back to the gamut of emotions she faced with Director Vance in the control room, today had been a hard day all round.


	2. Chapter 2

Ellie woke to a sense of loss, missing the comforting pressure of Nick’s presence next to her on the bed. She could hear Jack’s dulcet tones urging her to wake up. Ellie groaned her dissatisfaction, but made no motion to stop her weary body being raised into a seated position, the helping hands were careful not to jostle her sore back. “He is making breakfast”. The answer to a question she hadn’t asked, she tried to return Jack’s open smile, but her body was still too lethargic to obey ad hoc commands. A straw hovered close to her parched lips. “Just a little drink and take the paracetamol too please, just as Ducky ordered”. Ellie finishes the glass of water with deep greedy gulps, finally feeling some restorative effects. “We are going to get you cleaned up, okay? I’m going to check on your back too, Ducky asked me to check for any signs of infection and the cream will help with any inflammation”.

With tentative steps Ellie made her way to the bathroom, still feeling fragile and slightly disorientated by the unfamiliar surroundings. She could feel Jack hovering behind her, waiting to help at the first sign of trouble as she found it difficult to multi-task with walking and pressing for an update on McGee. Despite the slow progress, she felt a weight lift off her mind knowing that Tim was out of surgery and responding well to his treatment. When they finally made it into the en-suite bathroom, Ellie admired Jack’s organisation as the large tub was ready-filled, the steamy water waiting invitingly. Jack bade her charge to sit on the toilet seat, with a motherly care she disrobed Ellie, noting how her pale skin highlighted the different hues of blue and purpling bruises, carefully peeling back the gauze bandage to check on the healing back, noting areas that would need further attention after Ellie’s ablutions. She checked the heat of the water in the bath, happy that boiling heat had dissipated to pleasing temperature in the time it took her to retrieve her injured colleague. 

With Jack’s efficient help Ellie eased herself into the tub, careful not to put pressure on her abused back, resisting the temptation to just let herself float away. The warm bathwater felt like a welcome embrace lulling her into a relaxed almost sleepy state. She didn’t notice the water was now imbued with a rusty hue from yesterday’s antiseptic and no-doubt a little of the dried blood that coloured her back. It just felt comforting against her skin. Jack had started to slowly trace her sponge up Ellie’s arms, her cooing voice suggesting that her charge just needed to give into the lazy calmness, keep relaxing, keep breathing.

The heat of the water and the tender ministrations were overriding Ellie’s normally guarded facade, she luxuriated in this new found comfort, until she dimly realised her sore back could no longer be ignored, now that every other inch of her body had been carefully washed. She allowed herself to be turned, her head hanging over the lip of the bathtub, giving Jack unrestricted access to her back. The methodically sponged circles aren’t unpleasant, her skin is still sensitive, but she can feel Jack’s hesitancy over the tenderest set of cuts. “Ellie, I’m going to reapply the ointment now, I’ll just drain the water, sorry if this hurts”. Jack can see from the angle of the other agent’s head she was still bone-tired, but she recognised the nod of agreement for her plan. The second application of the lotion and the addition of fresh bandages was achieved quickly and allowed the blonde to be wrapped in a towel, ensuring she was warm and dry before fresh pyjamas were donned. “Ok, back to bed, please. Nick should be bringing up breakfast any second now”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jack’s mention of food had primed Ellie’s prodigious appetite, she could smell Nick’s delicious cooking, the aroma of waffles wafted upstairs. She blanched as her stomach gave a hungry growl. The chef returned to the guest bedroom with an immodest energy, presenting his colleagues with generous breakfast plates, modelling Jack’s pink frilly apron with characteristic good humour. Ellie watched jealously as Nick handed their host a steaming cup of coffee from his overloaded tray. She sipped her orange juice before tucking into the waffles, her partner had hid the airy deliciousness under a generous layer of cream and syrup, just the way she liked them. 

“Hmmm, Torres you make a mean waffle, but I’m going to have to take this to go” Jack scooped a laden forkful into her mouth, while she continued with her plan. “I’m taking the morning shift with Kayce, I’m sure Delilah would like a change of clothes and some non-Gibbs company”. Now that the Psychologist had regained her feet, she punctuated her ongoing thoughts with another furtive bite of her breakfast. “Ellie, doctor’s orders are you need to continue to rest, okay?”. Ellie managed a non-comital nod, she still did feel tired but she also wanted to visit McGee to make her apologies. Nick readily agreed to Jack’s suggestion that he’d stay and help his teammate, they’d house-sit until Jack returned. 

Once their superior left on her errands, Ellie wagered that Nick would be a more permissive host. She impatiently waited for a long 30 minutes before she could take the boredom no longer, sick of feeling helpless and wanting some distraction from her morose thoughts. She scanned the room for her go-bag which had her laptop, she could get some work done, she could finish up some paperwork. Ellie was suddenly self-conscious that her partner was watching closely, no longer keeping up with his pretence of playing with his phone. “Ellie, come on, you can’t really be thinking about work. Jack will kill us and then kill me again, if you don’t get some more rest”.

Ellie could only manage a half-smile at the lame joke. “Nick, I can’t just lay here and do nothing…. I’m not as fragile as everyone thinks” she winces at the petulance of her tone. “Sorry, Nick, I just want to apologies to Tim and see how Delilah is fairing… I just don't need all this mollycoddling...” her words trailed off as her best friend closed the space between them. “Ellie, I need you to understand as the smartest person I know, it always surprises me how damn stupid you can be”, he raised his hand in a placating gesture trying to hush her indignant protests, “Seriously B hear me out, you are the kindest person I know and the strongest person I know too, brave and tough, I really did mean it when I said you are a badass”. He gave her a wide smile, “I see you like the ‘compliment’ part of this conversation” she responded to his gentle ribbing with an eye roll, weighing up if she could risk giving him a playful swat of one of her pillows, but ultimately she still puzzled at the point that this monologue was driving at. “It isn’t fragility to accept help, it is just plain old common-sense and we are a team Ellie. You and me, like it or not. Do you know, you are my emergency contact, I trust you, I depend on your strength and I trust you are clever enough to accept help when it is offered. You are meant to be the calming influence on me….ok, you don’t ned to make life any harder than it already is”. He gently takes her plate, returning it to his tray, glad that some of the tension had bleed from Ellie’s combative visage, her hackles not longer raised at Nick’s uncharacteristic show of vulnerability . “So as a competent Uncle, I can offer you the only two tricks up my sleeve… hair braiding or a mani-pedi?” 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

If Ellie ever needed proof that her partner was a giant goofball she had it. She admired the rather perfect job that he had made of her nails. The pink sparkly colour stood in contrast to the plaid pyjamas, she couldn’t see his progress on her toes but she was already surprised at his top notch beautician work so far, so she didn’t complain when his subtle fingers drifted to the soles of her feet, displaying some impressive reflexology magic as he kneaded the underside of her feet. “Oh that’s nice, I needed to start asking for help more often”. Nick meet her wistful smile as he joined her on the bed again, “How about we, watch some daytime TV, I’ll cook and you can negotiate your freedom once Jack is back”. 

Nick waited for a response but he could see that it wouldn’t be forthcoming. Ellie had snuggled back over to him, her messy hair haloed her face but he could make out the even breathing of sleep. He let his fingertips stroke up and down her arm unconsciously, _she was alive, she was safe_ , for all his bravado this morning he hadn’t slept well last night with the memory of his abject terror when he thought Ellie was on the exploded plane, he found himself waking periodically during the night to check that she was still safe next to him. He returned her cuddle and let a deep sigh, content to catch up with his own sleep too. Unconcerned if Jack would find them like this when she returned from the hospital.


End file.
